- Drafting a report by hand you glance at the paper expecting to see red and green squiggly underlines;
- Whenever you forget how to program the video you look at the TV screen for a small dog wearing a cape;
- You try to find the ‘Croissant Warming Wizard’ on your microwave;
- Whenever you think of a good idea, a yellow light bulb appears by your left ear;
- Your solution to a ‘bag full’ light on your hoover is to turn if off and then back on again;
- You talk gibberish and expect the words to be corrected automatically as they leave your mouth;
- You expect members of your family to have optional appearances and personalities;
- You don’t wonder why you want to connect your toaster to the Internet;
- You blame everything – faulty traffic lights, unhelpful shop assistants, running out of petrol – on Microsoft;
- You put together a half hour long PowerPoint presentation to tell the children where you’re going on holiday next year.
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Simon’s book on Excel
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Beancounters' guide to technology 